A good start to New Years
I was at an overnight New Years party the 31st-1st, and we were up until 5 am. That's great, but not the story.
8 a.m. New Year's day I get a phone call on my cell, which I answer to hear a highly rude "you're a miserable little bitch".
Having only three hours of sleep, I couldn't immediately throw back a quip (and my quips are deadly), so I settled for "what the RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GO?"
The person repeated "you're a miserable little bitch" and I hung up. My cell had the number on record so a few days later (today), I used a payphone in a nearby bookstore to ring the person up.
A woman answered, and my opening line:
"May I please speak to the miserable little bitch who called me at 8 in the morning New Years day to swear at me unprovoked?"
Woman: "Pardon me?!"
"I said: 'may I speak to the miserable little bitch who called me at -"
Woman: "I know what you said, I think you have the wrong -"
"Don't interrupt me. I got a call from this number New Years day and the person proceeded to insult me for no reason."
Woman: "Well you're being ...gosh darned rude."
"Thanks, I'm still waiting for the miserable little bitch to grow some balls and come on the phone."
The rest of the conversation was her threatening that if I ever called her again she'd have me arrested (ha ha ha, 1. I called her from a payphone, she has no clue who I am, 2. making a phone call is not a crime), and insisting that I had the wrong number.
But after getting the final word (my specialty) I hung up and felt confident she'd not only pass the message on to whoever was there that night, but monitor more closely exactly who she lets use her phone.
New Years resolution #6:
Return an ill-deed: Check.
Last edited by Ristaron; Jan 04, 2006 at 05:00 AM // 05:00..
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